Some mornings, I wake up remembering how it felt during the time I chose to leave my marriage.
I knew, in my mind and heart, that it was the right decision. Yet my heart felt like it was being torn in two.
Even after years of working with women in moments of change, I was not prepared for how heavy it would feel to let go of a life I had built, even one that was no longer working for me.
Change, even when it’s right, can feel devastating.
A woman named Kate once sat across from me, her eyes shining with tears.
“I should feel grateful,” she whispered. “My life is finally moving forward… so why do I feel so lost?”
Kate’s words echo in me. Because I, too, have felt lost while becoming someone new.
Emotional change isn’t only about new jobs, new relationships, or new places. It touches deeper places in us—old wounds, silent rules we learned growing up, and the quiet grief for the parts of ourselves we’re leaving behind.
When I think back to my divorce, I remember how my mind would say, “This is for the best.” But my body carried another truth: tightness in my chest, sleepless nights, tears that would come at unexpected moments.
I wasn’t failing. I was human.
And so was Kate.
When I feel that tightness rising in my chest, I remind myself of something simple yet profound:
Breathe. Pause.
Breath became my anchor in those years. It didn’t erase the sadness, but it gave me moments of relief. A moment to remember that I was safe enough to keep going.
If you’re in a season of change, like Kate or like me, here are some gentle reminders:
Name what you feel. Instead of “I’m fine,” try “I’m scared because everything is new.”
Honor the grief. Change often means letting go of routines, even difficult ones. It’s okay to mourn what you’re leaving behind.
Listen to your body. Notice your breath. Slow it down. Feel your feet grounded on the earth. Ask your body what it needs.
Go gently. Becoming who you are takes time. Small steps matter more than perfection.
If you’re feeling lost in transition, please remember: you’re not broken. You’re becoming.
Con mucho amor,
Blanca
Español breve:
Hoy comparto cómo el cambio emocional puede sentirse muy duro, incluso cuando sabemos que es lo correcto. Hablo de mi experiencia durante mi divorcio: aunque racionalmente sabía que era lo mejor, mi corazón dolía profundamente. Con tiempo, auto compasión y respiración logré salir adelante. No estás rota. Te estás convirtiendo.
Con mucho amor,
Blanca